Today marks 12 years. Its not very often I talk about why I chose photography. I’m not sure if because talking about it makes me think about it.
Today marks 12 years since my mom went to be with Jesus. It was a month before my 16th birthday. Let me tell you, the last 12 years have been some what of a roller coaster ride. It took me 9 years to no longer lay in bed and cry on this day and on her birthday and it may have taken me a little longer to let my heart soften. My anger towards God and life in general was preventing me from truly living.
I met some amazing people in St. Louis, that taught me about God, and his love. It was there that my life changed. It’s still not easy, I miss her terribly. I’ve been through most if not all of life’s BIG moments without her. Proms, graduation (from both highschool and college) getting married and the numerous moments with Beckett. I see her in him, Beckett is a lefty- just like her. Things like that remind me that she’s always with us, and that she knew Beckett long before I did.
So the big question- Why photography? Her death molded me, it changed me. I started to realize that memories and pictures were all I was ever going to have left of her. And to be honest- there’s not a lot of pictures. Pictures are all Beckett will have to know his MeMe. Eventually my memory will have trouble remembering. But the pictures will keep memories alive.
I don’t ever want people to feel the way I do. I want families to be able to keep loved ones memories alive for generations. To remember those special moments, such as your wedding day, the birth of your littles and more. I found the good in an awful situation- I found my purpose. I found my passion.
This is why I do what I do.
Because one day, this is all any of us have left.
I miss her so very much, more than words could ever convey. But I am so grateful for this life, My family and my friends, and the God that is so good. Know that when I take your pictures I not only take them for you, but for your kids, your grandkids and for me. Because photography is what has helped heal my soul.